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Week 1: The Beginning

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I am an omega. When it comes to the hierarchy of life I am on the bottom. I am a loser. I have began this blog to chronicle my journey toward sigma.

Who Am I: I live in a major city. I am in my late twenties and I have only had sex twice, both one night stands involving a lot of alcohol with fat and ugly women. I have never held hands with a girl. I have never had the guts to ask a girl out. Until recently I viewed myself as a cool loner, a rebel without a cause. The sad truth is I am a frightened loser with no direction and no motivation in life.

I am skinny, ugly and highly introverted. I am over educated and underemployed. I have no friends and no social life.

What do you mean by

Omega: Some of the characteristics include low self-esteem, fixation on a single woman for an extended period of time, social dysfunctionality, inability to provide for themselves, overdependence upon parents, excessively childish interests, physical unattractiveness, and extreme timidity.

  • You spend most of your Friday and Saturday evenings at home playing video games or surfing 4chan rather than spending time with friends.
  • You have few friends, wish you had more, but don’t know how to make some.
  • You have few social activities that aren’t church, work, or school related; ie. places where people are more or less forced to accept you.
  • You spend 30-40 or more hours a week on the internet or video games.
  • You are unable to carry on a decent conversation with strangers, ie; Anything beyond “Hi.” “How are you?” “I’m doing well.” is awkward, if it happens at all.
  • You have unable to carry on a conversation with a girl.
  • You are unable to initiate a conversation with a girl.
  • You have liked a girl for months (years) and have never talked with her beyond the occasional hello or perfunctory, “How are you?”
  • You are miserable and lonely, but have no idea how to fix it.
  • You feel incapable of reading other people’s emotional states and the actions and emotions of other people confuse you.
  • You often bored with life in general.

More on who is an omega:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2007/09/19/defining-the-alpha-male/

http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2012/01/omega-thesis.html

http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2011/03/socio-sexual-hierarchy.html

Or you can take the test:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-men/

Sigma: The outsider who doesn’t play the social game and manage to win at it anyhow. The sigma is hated by alphas because sigmas are the only men who don’t accept or at least acknowledge, however grudgingly, their social dominance. (NB: Alphas absolutely hate to be laughed at and a sigma can often enrage an alpha by doing nothing more than smiling at him.) Everyone else is vaguely confused by them. In a social situation, the sigma is the man who stops in briefly to say hello to a few friends accompanied by a Tier 1 girl that no one has ever seen before. Sigmas like women, but tend to be contemptuous of them. They are usually considered to be strange. Gammas often like to think they are sigmas, failing to understand that sigmas are not social rejects, they are at the top of the social hierarchy despite their refusal to play by its rules.

Why Sigma: I am highly introverted and I doubt I can change that. I can never be the centre of the attention. I don’t ever want to be the centre of attention. I envisioned myself as the cool loner and that is who I plan to become. A sigma.

How did you find all this stuff:

One night, after my usual masturbation session, I didn’t feel like sleep so I began browsing reddit and I came across a link to this post: https://tgrwhite8974.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/prologue-the-loser-i-was/

That was me. I wanted to deny it but that was me. After I had read TGR White’s entire archive I followed the links from his blog to the rest of the mansophere. It was terrible. A harsh wake up call. I had always believed myself the cool loner but in reality I was the loser.

This post from Vox Day paticularly hit home: http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2011/03/facing-truth.html

I didn’t want to face the truth. Yet I had to. I didn’t like it. I rebelled against it and wrote a hundred comments and replies (never published) denouncing them as rapists and liars and frauds. I never hit publish on those comments because deep down I knew it was all true.

I have spent the last two months reading everything I could in the manosphere. I will still be reading but Free Northerner, one of the first manosphere blogs I read a man I therefore hold in high regard posted the beginning of a guide for Omegas to improve their life.

I consider it a challenge and for the first time in my life I am not running from a challenge. I plan to become more than an omega.

What I plan to do:

I aim to become a sigma. I can never be the alpha, the extroverted life of the party. I can be the sigma, the sort of man I imagined I was until cold hard reality slapped me in the face. I plan to gradually improve my life in every way. Each week I will set myself tasks and I will keep myself accountable.

These are the main areas I have to improve:

  1. Fear of women.
  2. Shyness
  3. Crappy job
  4. Skinny build
  5. Poor fashion sense
  6. Lack of social life.
  7. Porn addiction
  8. Have adventure in life. I want to travel overseas next year. I need want to have 20 grand saved up for this
  9. New haircut

This week I plan to:

  1. Acquire a gym membership.
  2. Speak to one person on monday (genuine stranger in the street – not someone who has to deal with me thanks to their job). Speak to two people on tuesday, three on wednesday, four on thursday, five on friday. I am not sure about the weekend yet. By speak to I mean no more than ask for time or directions. Something easy and innocuous.
  3. Reduce masturbation to every second day or less – no porn

Where I want to be long term:

  • Complete new wardrobe.
  • New place
  • New job
  • New social circle
  • Multiple LTR + ability to game new girls on side

  • Get upto 210 lbs

  • Start saving up for overseas trip next year +20 grand

Next Week I will review my progress for the first week and put up my goals for the second week.